Fall and winter are exciting times for many! So many holidays, family time, and if you’re lucky, days off of work/school. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? Well, its not that way for everyone. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has done a few surveys over the years to speak on this. In 2014, NAMI found that 64% of people with previously diagnosed mental illnesses would report that the holidays make their conditions worse. In 2021, they did a survey that showed that 3 in 5 Americans feel their mental health is negatively impacted by the holiday season. As much as the holiday season can be seen as fun and rewarding after a year of hard work, many individuals do not enjoy this time of year. In fact, to some it is the exact opposite of the most wonderful time of year.

How can that be? Why would the holidays be so troubling to so many of us? Seasonal Depression Disorder (SAD) could be contributing. SAD occurs typically when the amount of daylight lessens due to daylight savings time. Less exposure to the sun, means less vitamin D we are getting because the sun produces Vitamin D and this vitamin plays a big role in aiding our mental health daily. Sure we can take extra vitamins and that may help, but it is not always that simple. Daylight savings time disrupts the neurotransmitters in our brain, causing our internal clock to be off and leading to low mood, loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite, and difficulties with sleep. This can occur months on end and always happens during the same time each year, during fall and winter.

The holidays also may bring up memories of loved ones who are not with us any longer. Many of us have plenty of holiday traditions surrounding time with family. If there has been a recent loss in the family, it could mean a great deal of “firsts”without a family member. This can cause sadness, heavy grief, and wanting to avoid these traditions. Beyond the first year, loss within a family is always difficult this time of year. Focusing on positive memories and trying to remain optimistic during this time may help, but it may not be enough. Along with missing family members, there is also the possibility of having negative feelings towards toxic family situations. This can bring up wanting to avoid family during this time of year, anger due to feeling forced to be around them, and/or not having anyone to spend the holidays with. Feeling isolated throughout the year is difficult, but when it is during a time of year where the focus is on spending time with family it can be even more difficult for many.

We know that the holidays are not always everyone’s favorite time of year, but what do we do about this? How can we not only help ourselves this time of year, but also help others? Focusing on what we can control is a good start. The Circle of Control centers on the concept of what is and what is not in our control. Each day we wake up and complete our normal routine; however, throughout the day we may run into some obstacles. These obstacles we face are typically out of our control. We cannot control the choices individuals in our family make but we can control the choices we make. Maybe instead of seeing family this year, you try to see if a good friend is open to celebrating with you. Maybe you still want to attend the celebration with your family, so you plan on setting a firm boundary of when you arrive and when you plan on leaving the event. Evaluating what we can and cannot control during this time of year can be very beneficial to our mental health.

Another way to help ourselves and others this time of year is utilizing coping strategies. Use your resources. Complete self-care activities (taking warm baths, going on walks during the middle of the day to get exposure to Vitamin D, listening to your favorite music, etc); give yourself grace and time to feel the emotions you are feeling (because they are normal); try meditation or other forms of deep breathing each morning/night; and attend weekly therapy. When you notice your mood dropping or your typical energy level/motivation changing, it is important to get help. There is no reason to be ashamed about going to therapy. Do not be afraid to evaluate what you are needing. Maybe it’s taking extra vitamins, maybe it’s avoiding social settings with family, or maybe it’s attending weekly therapy. Put yourself first this holiday season!